i’ve been in the process of writing this post for a while now but the first sentence keeps alluding me. so now that THAT is out of the way, here’s the meat: i’ve moved back to houston and the experience has been… indescribable. I have been happy, happy, happy and then suddenly, really lost and reclusive. It seems that i can’t shake this gloomy London cloud hovering over my head and as i’ve struggled with this the past few months, i’ve decided to throw myself back into a professional career at the University. I officially start on Monday and as I spend the last few days …as a recluse, i am so excited and then beyond nervous …what if i can’t juggle these rolls successfully?What if i simply can’t juggle at all?! Which ball will i have to drop ….how will i manage to stay “ON” for 9 hours a day and then still come home with energy and mindfulness? But then i’m really excited…this has to be the most exciting career choice i’ve ever made
but then what if i end up loving it more than my family?
The irony of getting older is that no matter how much insight and wisdom you achieve with each year, the grown-up problems and internal struggles you tackle with grow alongside. I feel more timid about walking into new situations and miss my audaciousness more than anything else….and as i embark on my
old new life in houston, i wish i were more myself because i don’t k now why, as i’m happily enjoying the beautiful sunny summer and autumn months with my loved ones, something always just yanks me out for a brief moment, and i’m walking all alone through frigid london wind again. so yes, i wish i were more myself lately.