contemplations · struggles

on demons…

the last week or two, i’ve been battling with some personal demons and really letting myself get beat up. i wonder why we are our worst critics…some of the things i have been saying to myself would be considered heinous if said to anyone else. some people causing grief in my life have too much hold on me. i’ll allow myself to get buried under such a thick cloud that my failure becomes inevitable. only when i forgive myself can i truly forgive anyone else for the petty, foolish, senseless gestures. only when i truly move on will i find happiness or success or peace. there are too many balls i’m juggling and can’t wait for my sabbatical to begin as soon as grades go in on dec. 15th. at the moment, all i want to do is reflect, react and rejuvenate and process everything that has been happening for the past year.

Today I’m marinating over the concept ofΒ ‘being mindful’….i’m not mindful of the millions of things i do daily, the millions of thoughts i have while awake or nearly-awake, not to mention how unmindful i am of the millions of blessings floating into my life every day. so here’s to being mindful today and trying to inject positive affirmations in my thoughts and tasks.

2 thoughts on “on demons…

  1. Sara, Mashallah, dude you really have a charmed life. I struggle with this as you know, too.

    I just tell myself, no body will take away from my happiness. I will not let negative people ruin a good time in my life.

    Its not easy, because I have high hopes for ppl to change. But, after witnessing bad behaviour, the hope runs out. You just have to shut it out and move on with the good. That’s all anyone can do.

  2. I feel you. But you must, MUST, keep the faith as Farida said: Sara, Mashallah, dude you really have a charmed life.

    You are incredible. And with so many changes recently, the greatest being little A, it takes time to adjust. Don’t be so hard on yourself, we are human, we are not perfect.

    I have these moments all the time. What did I do? Join a support group if you have the time, or take a little time out to go for a long walk if you can. If not, maybe some type of meditation? The bad girl inside me is saying have a cigarette, but you’re smart enough.

    You are amazing OK! Keep the faith.

    Lots of love,
    S

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